So many times I have started to write about this. I type a sentence or two and then delete it. It’s hard to find the right words to express myself. I am searching for something. I don’t know if it exists. I’ve seen glimpses here and there in different people. But I haven’t found anyone who vibrates at quite the same frequency I do. 

Next Level Love

What I am looking for is a Next Level Love. So what does that mean?

As I’ve said before in this blog, I’ve found love. Several times over. And what I’ve learned from my relationships is that love is not enough. At least for me it’s not. I need so much more than love.

I am ambitious. I’ve embraced growth. Everyday is another opportunity at bettering myself. I need a partner with a similar mindset. I need a partner that is just as ambitious and desiring of reaching that next level. 

Power Couple

Ever since my first long term relationship, I have always wanted to work on a dream with my partner. I have so many skills and ideas. But I find that I can lack focus and find my time divided among too many projects. Having a partner that has goals, dreams, and ambitions is something that I crave. I want a powerful partner. Someone who has vision and can direct. I want to spend my days serving him and working towards that vision. 

Now that I’ve experienced submission this desire runs even deeper. It comes from knowing that I’m flawed. And also knowing that there are people who exist that are better than me, more successful than me, more emotionally stable than me, and the list could go on and on. 

My King doesn’t have to be perfect. Perfection is a lie. He just has to be better than me. That is what I crave. 

Total Power Exchange

What would it feel like to hand over my time, my energy, and my life to another person? Of course, this can’t be just anyone. It has to be someone who understands me. Someone who understands my needs. Someone who understands and wants to fulfill my desires. Someone who can teach me, help me grow, and achieve those higher levels. 

TPE would be desirable knowing that the result would be leveling up in whatever area is being focused on at the time. The appeal is not having to think. Quieting my forever-running mind. Focusing on the task at hand, instead of worrying about the task to focus on. Doing what I’m told, instead of putting energy into prioritizing what needs to be done.

Trusting that all the decisions made are in the best interests of all involved. Knowing that if I trust, have faith, and put in the work, we will grow, achieve, learn, and experience so many things that life has to offer. 

Sexually Insatiable

I am a nymphomaniac. I NEED my partner to be just as sexually insatiable. I want my body to be used. Daily. I want to fulfill ALL my fantasies. I want to produce pornography.

I do not want to be monogamous and I do not want my partner to be monogamous either. I want my King to have sex with other people. It does not make me jealous. I truly dislike jealousy, because I feel it comes from a place of insecurity and a need to control another person. I also truly enjoy it when my partner has sex with other people. I do not have to be involved or even know about every interaction with every person. That level of disclosure for me is exhausting. Come at me with questions and I will answer them, but my escapades many times 

I CAN NOT ENTERTAIN ANOTHER VANILLA RELATIONSHIP!

I refuse to settle for anything less than what I deserve.

I need a kinky, freaky fucker. A sadistic Dom. One that gets rock hard at the thought of forcing his cock in my ass while I cry.

I need a sensual Dom. One that can slowly make love to me for hours. Then fall asleep inside of me, holding me, caressing my hair, and kissing my shoulders.

I need someone that feels overwhelmed at the thought of losing me. Someone that sees my beauty when I cry, understanding that my tears fall from a place deep within. 

I need someone that is secure and confident enough in OUR love so that I am able to love other people. OUR love will always be sacred because OUR love resonates at a higher frequency and My King will be the only one to experience my loyalty and service. 

Obsessive Love

I like to say that true love is mutual adoration. I find that I love easily. I love the diversity of people. I love knowing people intimately. I do not have to be in love with someone to love them. A person does not need to be my perfect match to be deserving of my love.

Adoration is love elevated. I want to be adored. I want someone to look at me and see all the different facets of my personality and adore me. I want to adore my partner.

I want a partner that expresses their love in a similar way. I used to think that my love languages were words of affirmation and physical intimacy. But I’ve recently come to realize that quality time, acts of service, and gift-giving are also big parts of how I love. I’ve prioritized sex and communication over the years, but truly I want it all. 

I want all of this because when I start to fall in love with someone I give all of this. I become obsessed. So much of my thoughts and actions are devoted to the expression of my love.

I’m motivated to clean because I want my lover to be comfortable and enjoy a clean house. I begin to make plans for their arrival. Like organizing a surprise. 

I enjoy giving gifts. I enjoy seeing the delight in someone’s eyes. I want my lover to know that I think about them, listen to them, and want to bring them joy. Sometimes I wish I was rich. Not so that I can have a ton of possessions, but so that I can give to people. So that I can take care of people. 

I long to serve and I want my King to serve me. There is no end to the list of things I’m willing to do and give to a King that truly cherishes me. 

I want to spend time with my King. I want to spend time being productive. Working on our dreams. Taking action on our goals. I want to spend time exploring the world, nature, and people with him. I want to experience as much as possible.