I Don’t Want It!!!

by | Aug 11, 2023 | Relationships, Sex & Love Addiction, Siren's Diary

Follow Siren Vixen

I Don’t Want It!!!

by

Never Good Enough

Because I will always be too much

I’m Pathetic

There’s no need to tell me how pathetic I am. I already know. I see it. You see it. Everyone sees it. It’s like a blazing neon light that reads “Fucked Up” with a million arrows pointing right at me.

If this sounds like a pity party… It is. If you have no desire to partake then just click away now. Because it’s gonna get pretty damn pathetic.

I just needed love.

I don’t want to be pretty. I don’t want to be good. I don’t want to be sexy. I don’t want to be kind. I don’t want to be intelligent. I don’t want to be beautiful. I don’t want to be talented. I don’t want to be a hard worker. I don’t want any of it. It doesn’t amount to shit. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t bring me happiness. Nobody fucking cares about any of this shit.

I just wanted love. I just wanted to love and be loved.

I just wanted someone to understand me. I just wanted someone to know me. I just wanted someone to see me and hear me. I just wanted someone to hold me when I cry. I just wanted someone to choose me. I just wanted someone that valued me, cherished me, and adored me.

I wanted someone to love me. To appreciate me and never take me for granted.

I just wanted someone to grab ahold of me and never think of letting go. I would have given anything to feel that I meant something. I would have done anything just to feel like I was special.

But I’m not worthy. Never have been. never will be.

I’m just worthless, unlovable trash.

Nobody wants to love a broken bitch like me. 

Men would rather love a woman that calls the police on them and has him thrown in jail than love a slut like me. Men would rather love a woman that lies to their face than love a whore. Men would rather love a woman that cheats. A woman that breaks their heart. A woman that drives them insane with self down. A woman that destroys their self-esteem. A woman that makes them feel worthless. But love a ho? Never. That’s just too much.

But they can fuck me. They can live with me. They can borrow money from me. They can lead me on while they use me for everything they can get out of me.

Then when they’re done getting what they wanted out of me they throw these little gems of wisdom my way, like “You gotta love yourself.” or “Know your worth.” Basically letting me know that I’m the one to blame because I opened my heart and let them into my life when they knew their intentions weren’t pure. I’m at fault because I didn’t see it. I’m the one that’s wrong because I should have known that they were just using me. They put it all on me because I let them.

I Let Them!!!

I used to believe that I loved myself. I used to believe that I was worthy. I used to have hope that someday, someone would be able to see through all this pain and all this mess. I used to believe that there was at least one person out there that could love all the broken pieces. I was so desperate for love that I gave up friends. I would do anything and everything for them. I would never say no to any request made of me. I would morph myself into whatever form they desired. I would jump through hoops, bend over backward, whatever it took I was willing to do it.

Then when they rejected me and as the tears began streaming down my face they made me feel like I was crazy for being hurt. I was crazy for wanting love and affection in return. I was crazy for wanting anything from them. I was crazy for believing I deserved anything more than being treated like a doormat.

The only thing that I did that was crazy was believing I ever meant anything to them at all.

I don’t believe any of it anymore. And furthermore, I don’t want it. I don’t want anyone’s love. I don’t want anyone’s attention or affection. I sure as fuck don’t want anyone’s dick. I don’t want anyone to ever come near me again.

So just stay the fuck away from me!!!

I don’t need you. I don’t want you. There’s not one damn thing you could give me.

You’ve made it blatantly clear that I will never be good enough for you. You’ve finally convinced me that I’m too broken for you to ever believe that I’m worthy of love.

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Sign Up For Our Email List

Get Notified When New Content Is Available

FAQ

You're gorgeous. Let's get to know each other...

Thank you, but ummmm…. No. First, I am under no obligation to waste any time, energy, breath, etc. on you. I don’t care how many times you message me. I don’t care if you “know” me. I don’t care if we fucked. Second, if I spent my time answering every damn message I would be responding to messages for the rest of my life and still never catch up. Third, I do what I want. Finally… Make me! That’s right, if you want a response then you need to trigger something in me that makes me feel like responding.

How much?

Are you suggesting that I will fuck you for money? HA! I wish I could sell this bomb ass body. I’d be rich. If I legally could, I would. But seriously, My Domination and submission are based on reciprocity. I require emotion, effort, and energy. Not money.

However, I could be convinced to pose for a photoshoot or star in your porn. Or even be hired for a non-sexual BDSM informational session. In that case, head over to the contact page and fill out the appropriate form. 

Speaking of Money...

Now if you’re feeling quite generous, you can cash app me at $MamatasSirenVixen

you can go to my loyal fans page and throw some $$ my way, buy whatever content I have on there,  subscribe, or whatever ya’ll do when you’re fiending to nut.

Or you could show me how much you love me by heading over to my Amazon Wish List and buying me something.

I also have an Amazon Book Wish List, because I love to read and am always trying to level up my mental game.

I wanna be your sugar daddy!

Go away!

Fuckin’ scammer bots.

Are you fucking my boy friend, husband, Baby Daddy, etc?

Yeah, probably. A little free advice… You’re way too good to be hanging onto trash like that. Take a deep breath. Believe in yourself for once in your life. Move on.

Wait, but if I'm too good for him, why are you still fucking him then?

Cause I’m trash too love. I accept him for all the nasty, dirty shit he loves to do. That’s why he’s in love with me and not you.

So You Want to Contact Me?

I’m sure you’re excited about the possibility of meeting me. Why wouldn’t you be? Not to burst your bubble, but the likelihood of that happening is incredibly small. Very few individuals get a chance to experience me.

I have zero tolerance for racism, discrimination, ignorance, and disrespect. I also have zero tolerance for negativity, dishonesty, stupidity, and toxicity.

Please don’t waste my time or bore me to death.

Are you capable of sending a message that resonates with me to the point where I’m compelled to respond?

Follow Siren Vixen