Kajira means “slave-girl” and la kajira means “I am a slave-girl”. Both words are fictional and are derived from a series of 35 novels, about Gor, written by John Norman.

In these novels, female slaves are required to perform sexually, maintain the house, be skillful, dress appealing and communicate appropriately.

Sa-Fora

Sa-Fora means “Chain Daughter” or “Daughter of the Chair”. Also a term from the same author and book series.

Silk Girl

A kajira that is excessively spoiled and pampered

Kajira and BDSM

Considering the fact that sexual slavery is a concept that appeals to some BDSM folk, it’s no wonder that Kajira is a term that has popped up on BDSM radar. It is similar to the concepts of Total Power Exchange (TPE) and Internal Enslavement (IE).

Am I Tamable?

How would it feel to be owned? Why is it something I desire?

To be owned is something that I never suspected that I would ever want.

I am a Freebird. I live by the beat of my wings. The air around me propels me and lifts me. Jet streams select my direction. Destinations are divinely chosen and rarely selected by me. Universal Energy selects my path.

I am wild and free. Obligations don’t hold my reins. Loyalty does not command me. I lust for variety and have perfected my ability to drink people in while keeping my distance.

Ownership does not fit me well.

I want to say that I’ve never been owned. I would never allow it. But that would be a lie. I was owned once. By my abuser.

He owned my body. I belonged to him. Despite any freedom, I thought I had. When he desired. He sought. He took. I was owned.

For years he owned my voice. He controlled my words. He dictated my actions. I was to perform in a way that protected our secret. That was priority #1. No one could ever know.

It wasn’t until I got older and was able to find my voice that I was also able to find my power. Little did I know exactly how powerful my voice was.

The thought of being found out terrified him. It was in his fear that I found my escape. My voice and my power protected me.

Never again would I bow down to the commands of another. Never again would I be forced to do something I never wanted. Never again would I beg to be simply left alone. My dominant personality blossomed on top of a shy little girl.

I have been in control ever since.

I am a selfish abuser now. I am the taker. My power is intoxicating and toxic. I want to be free from it… Or do I?

Being owned would mean relinquishing that control. Handing over the reins to my wild stallion and trusting that someone else could steer this majestic animal towards tranquility.

Trust. Trusting that another person will hold my best interests in the highest regard and guide me, unselfishly. Trusting that another person will understand what makes me happy. Trusting that another person can lead me to places I can not attain alone.

I want to be submissive.

For as long as I’ve lived I have never desired this dynamic with anyone. Not until I met Fatty V did I crave submission.

Although not perfect, his dominance was apparent. I won’t sit here and say that he wasn’t worthy of me, or that I wasn’t worthy of him. I’m tired of playing with those thoughts. The truth is, we just did not want the same things and we could not give each other the things that we wanted.

I’m Terrified

There are two things that terrify me the most when thinking about the concepts of Kajira, TPE or IE.

The first is a remnant of my last Dom. He ghosted. Over something small. I am not perfect. I will make mistakes. But if my heart is bound to you. If my desire is to serve you. Then you must understand the shame I feel when I can’t live up to expectations. I must be worthy of forgiveness. I only want to do what is asked. I only want to perform as I’m commanded. But when what you want is different than who I am, I will become someone other than the person you originally fell in love with. You must prepare for the repercussions of the demands that you make on me.

The second has to do with the level of control I have over my life. Do you know how I got to where I am today? I set goals. I achieved them. I broke bad habits. I formed new and better habits. I prioritized my life, ensuring that bills were paid and obligations were met. I dove deep and discovered the roots of my happiness. I pursued that happiness without shame. I made sacrifices. If I hand over the reins, are you capable of maintaining the same standards, or preferably higher?

These two terrify me for very different reasons. First, being abandoned and feelings of being not worthy are at the core of my childhood traumas. Ghosting me triggers the little girl that wasn’t worthy of a mother’s love and protection. I have come to a place in my life where I love myself. I know that many things that I do and many things that I desire some people would be repulsed and enraged by. My love is not for those people. I’m terrified that I will be too much and will again be abandoned and left alone in my longing.

Second, I’m terrified that by handing over control my entire world will fall apart. Will all the bills get paid? Will I have time for my dreams, ambitions, and hobbies? Will I have the space and freedom for my friends and other partners? Can all of these elements be compatible with my D/s relationship?

I’m Overwhelmed and Overwhelming

I know what I want and it’s a lot. It’s an overwhelming amount for the average person. But I am not an average woman. I am an insatiable nymphomaniac. I lose myself in sex. Getting fucked only fuels me and makes me want it more and more. I KNOW I am too much for most people. I’m terrified that I will be too much for the King I want to serve.

I am just as insatiable in my vanilla life as I am in the bedroom. I am ambitious and active. I have goals. I manage my shit. I juggle a lot. I’m skilled in many areas. I get what I want and then I want more. My life is about constantly leveling up. I am a Goddess. My King will admire my drive. He will not be intimidated by it.

I love… a LOT. I’m always the first person to say “I love you”. We don’t even have to be fucking. I love everyone in my life. Otherwise, your ass wouldn’t be in my life. I understand the different levels of love. From platonic friendship to soul bound. I love and accept people at whatever level they have to offer. My King will know, understand, and love the desires of my soul, as I will feel the same about him because we are twin flames with an inextinguishable fire that burns for sexual adventures.

I am a Highly Sensitive Person. I feel everything deeply. I love hard. I grieve hard. I rage hard. I absorb the emotions of the people nearest to me. I need alone time and space away from it all to be by myself to process social interactions. I need lots of intimacy and emotional reciprocity. My King will adore the outpouring of emotions that I have for him. He will understand that I say “I love you” 100 times a day, not because I need to hear it 100 times, but because that is how often I feel it.

Because of my sensitivity, I have lived in a way that keeps people out of my heart space. Very few have been let in. When I am able to detach my body from my emotions I’m able to function effectively. As soon as I start falling in love, I start living too much in my anxiety and in my head. My King will reassure me by expressing his feelings towards me, telling me how important and special I am to him, and making me believe it by continually moving towards a common goal, by continually falling deeper and deeper into this real-life fantasy with me.

Ownership means I must be vulnerable. I must be honest about who it is I am and what it is I need.

Ownership is a gift. I must remember that it must be earned. I want very badly to be submissive, to serve, to be owned. But this can’t just happen with anyone. It must take time and nurturing to grow and blossom.

To My King…

I want very badly to serve you, to be your submissive, and to be owned by you.

Are you able to take ownership in a loving way? Can you dominate with tenderness and forgiveness? Can you deliver the praises that will put my little feet in motion?