What is mental health?

Mental health is described as the well-being of a person’s psyche and the ability for them to function without pain, anxiety, depression, CPTSD, PTSD, emotional baggage, physical baggage, or trauma(s). There are many aspects of this fucked up world that can affect someone in both positive and negative ways. As Siren has eluded to in many of her posts, the number of traumas from childhood to adulthood can vary and be more deep-rooted than others.

Isn’t trauma the same for everyone?

The short answer is FUCK NO!!!

Each person has different traumas that affect them in different ways. This is not a Halloween costume “one size fits all”! You can not compare the different types of traumatic experiences that people experience in life. You can’t say that a person with the trauma of being beaten as a child or even an adult is the same as someone who has been sexually assaulted (once or repeatedly) at all. Each person’s psyche is totally unique to them. Not everyone has a voice to speak up/out about what they are experiencing. This especially holds true in the example that Siren wrote about in her previous post.

Why do people just accept and live with traumas?

This is a very loaded question. There is no one simple answer(s). Some don’t have the ability to speak up/out, are too afraid to fear repercussions, or think “this is normal”. For those who have lived a life in turmoil, they don’t always know what is right or wrong, sometimes evert what is real or a fantasy world. For some, the experiences cause so much damage to their psyche that they can’t cope with the real world.

Just get over it already and move on.

This mentality sickens me to a degree that it’s not even remotely funny. That statement to me is the same as having shattered your foot and ankle and being told: “walk it off”. The mentality of this statement proves that people are more ignorant about mental health and well-being.

Can’t they just find A way to cope?

Yet another statement that I find ignorant and uneducated. No, they can’t “just cope with it” or “just deal with it”. Many of these traumatic events are so powerful that they feel like they are trash, scum of the earth, or even unlovable. These feelings never go away on their own.

What do they do if they can’t cope?

There are many different ways that people have found to “cope” with their issues. These aren’t exactly the most positive ways to deal with these issues. These “coping” mechanisms are:

• Drugs
• Alcohol
• Drugs and alcohol.
• Being irrational / heavily emotional
• Suffering in silence
• Passing on the trauma to the next generation or a random person.
• Self-harm.
• Purposely staying in the cycle. Things like abuse, repeating the same item that traumatized them, but at their leisure.
• Suicide.

What do they need? Are they too far gone?

Yet another loaded question. Some people don’t realize that they have been traumatized. Some people who have trauma no matter the size or amount, never speak of it. In fact, many people who you interact with or pass on the street or in traffic. There are so many levels that it’s hard to quantify or categorize the levels. What those who are really suffering and seeking help are the following:

• Find ways to comfort them without triggering them. This can be extremely difficult.
• DO NOT PRY!! Let them know that you’re there for them when they want to talk.
• Offer to help find them space(s) that allow them to feel safe.
• Sometimes having a safe word is a way to help you know when they are feeling like they aren’t safe or have been triggered.
• Offering to help them find positive outlets for their emotions. Sometimes it could be as simple as sitting at the beach or in a quiet environment away from the hustle and bustle of a city.
• DO NOT TELL THEM TO GO TO THERAPY. This statement will break their trust in you faster than you can say I. They need to do this on their own schedule.
• Give them time to build their trust in you. They do not give their trust easily. When they do you must treat it with the highest level of care.
• Give them space when they need it. Many times a too-positive influence will overload them and send them down the rabbit hole.

What are the signs of these traumas?

There isn’t always a sign of trauma as many people will lock away the pain or find other ways of dealing with it. The hardest part of learning a person’s triggers or signs could be body language, the way they say or do something, or they just shut down. Again not all people show their emotional states in an easily discernable way. You must be patient and understanding that you may not see out understand these signs immediately or even within months, years, or longer. Some you will never know.

Is there any solution or hope?

The answer to both can be yes if certain conditions are met. That discussion will be saved for another post.