This is such a hard topic to write about, because I have such a love for people in general. I always feel like I’m being selfish and insensitive whenever I think about the “perfect” man for me. You see, I am so flawed. I am so far from perfect. There is so much wrong with me. How dare I desire a laundry list of attributes from someone who is just as deserving of love as I feel I am? I used to think that the only thing I really needed was to be loved, unconditionally. I would bare my soul and dig into theirs. Then I found a man who loved me unconditionally and that is exactly when I realized that I need more than just love. I also need partnership. I always say that it should be easier with 2 people working together, not harder. But yet somehow, it always seems that adding another person to the mix just makes my life more difficult to live. Very closely related to partnership is my desire for submission. Fatty V was the closest thing I’ve ever had to a Dom. He is the only man that has ever made me want to hand over every aspect of my life to him for full control. My ideal relationship would be a 24/7 D/s relationship. I won’t go into what this would entail on this post because I plan on writing about it in more depth in the future. I need someone that matches my love language. I’m big on physical intimacy (duh! I’m a nympho) and words of affirmation. It’s not just about sex. I love to be felt up, kissed, hugged, or held. I love a sensual massage or body worship. I love cuddling and falling asleep wrapped up in my lover’s arms every night. I love to hear how much I’m loved and desired. Funny story, when I was a little girl I remember I used to tell my mom that I loved her ALL the time. I remember one day in particular my mom got so mad at me for continually saying “I love you” to her. I couldn’t help it though. When I feel it, I want to say it and if I’m in love with you I’m going to tell you all the fucking time. This is where Fatty V was lacking, big time. He had the hardest time communicating period, let alone about his feelings, and especially his feelings for me. I was supposed to intuit through his actions how much he loved me but then his actions were lacking. So I’m left wondering; Did he ever really love me? My ideal partner would tell me all the time how much he loves me. He will tell me how sexy I am, how lucky he is to have me, and how much he adores me.