Wild warrior woman,

Complicated queen. 

Howling in anticipation,

Of another queen’s scream. 

Understanding painful mysteries,

No other soul has seen. 

Embracing all the shadows,

Others find obscene.

Tending to trepidations,

Until her energy’s clean.

Creating the world,

Which once lived,

Only in a dream.

 The world is full of trauma.

So many of us are running away from our shadow work. Knowing that how we feel is not quite right. Living in empathy for another person’s pain, but not knowing how to get anyone to understand our own pain. Not knowing how to express it. Always having to fight to be heard. To be seen. To be. Good enough.

Feelings spiraling out of control.

Grief-stricken. All that you have lost by not knowing any better. The people you’ve hurt. The mistakes you made. Life lessons learned. Trying your hardest to do better, to be better, and to love harder next time. Next time. Not knowing how to change. Scared to change, but desperate to heal old wounds.

Deep wounds. Unseen wounds.

Lingering below the surface, below the conscious, but always aware. Waiting for the next assault. Anticipation that once again you will be alone. Unworthy. Forgotten. The loneliness gets deeper every year that you are left to stew in it. Desperate to heal. But how? How can we heal while we’re simmering in this societal cesspool?

I am a wild warrior woman.

I will not stop. I exemplify resilience. I will embrace my shadows. Make bedfellows of my demons. Our demons will dance well together. Dancing until we find comfort in it. We must feel it to heal it. But we must find comfort in it. We must find those who are willing to give their love in the ways we need to be loved. We must receive love in the way that we perceive love. We must believe in the love we receive.

The only way I see out is through.

Not just me and you. Everybody. Half the population can be defined as insecurely attached. That’s trauma. Name one person you know that hasn’t had trauma. Then there are some of us where trauma, hardship, rejection, bad fucking luck, etc. is all we know. We have intergenerational trauma. Emotional neglect and verbal abuse are just as bad as physical abuse, sometimes worse. Because this is the shit we repeat to ourselves over and over again. This is our worldview. This is what we expect.

This is our energy.

It’s the frequency at which we vibrate. It doesn’t matter if it’s not our shame to carry. The shame belongs to the people who did this to us. The pain belongs to them. Yet we can’t quite shed it. In many ways, we cling to it, because there is comfort in the well-known.

Society must come to an awakening of spirit.

We must look at each other and truly see. We must speak to each other and really listen. We must understand. I am passionately focused on my art and my writing. I have no idea how the next few months will play out. Everything is up in the air for me right now. It’ll eventually all come crashing back down to earth. Then I can figure out what I want to do and I’ll be able to take an inventory of where I’m at, what I have, and where I want to be. 

Putting the Puzzle Together

There are little pieces everywhere. Researchers look at only one small aspect of the issue. But reality is composed of elements that can be seen from all sorts of different angles. To love each other, we must understand each other. To be understood, we need to understand ourselves. 

There’s always a better way

The absolute worst thing that we can do is resist growth. We must always be willing to learn more. We must want to understand better. We must not just admit that we are wrong, but we need to embrace that we are ALWAYS wrong when we only observe from our own point of view.