If I wasn’t such a greedy needy girl then Daddy would have never gotten mad at me. 

If I was just patient with Daddy and trusted him, then maybe one day…

But now Daddy is gone. 

I’m sorry I didn’t listen to Daddy.

I tried so hard to make you happy. 

I wanted to take all the pain for Daddy’s pleasure.

Anything you wanted. I wanted you to be proud of me. 

I wanted to be an obedient good girl for Daddy.

Daddy knows best. 

Daddy always gets his way. Either the easy way or the hard way. I get to choose. 

But I get confused Daddy. Both ways feel like the hard way.

Both ways hurt me. 

I don’t know which way hurts worse.

Daddy thinks the easy way is to be a good little fuck toy, letting Daddy play with me however he wants. 

And I love being Daddy’s brainless fuck doll. I’m proud of being his bestest girl. 

I will always try my hardest so that I please Daddy the best. 

I always want to be Daddy’s favorite little princess fuck toy.

I love doing all the things for Daddy that no other girl can do. 

You trained me, Daddy. 

But then you push me away. You told me you don’t want me. You told me nobody wants me. 

And I believe you, Daddy.

I don’t even want me.

Life is misery on top of misery on top of misery. 

That’s why I don’t think it’s the easy way. Because I did fail Daddy. I failed you. 

I tried so hard to be good for Daddy. I wanted to give you everything. I wanted to be perfectly trained to please Daddy. 

I wanted to be your special good girl. Always and forever. 

Does that mean I’m not Daddy’s favorite girl anymore?

Was I so bad that you don’t love me anymore? Am I so bad that nobody will ever love me?

You said it was the easy way…

I never want to be bad, ever.

But then I get this feeling. It’s like being sick and scared and lonely all wrapped into one. I can’t think of anything else in the world anymore, except you.

My throat closes up. It feels like you are choking me, Daddy. Except I don’t like it. I want to hide away forever and never be good again. Good girls only get hurt. Good girls never get loved. 

I don’t believe you, Daddy.

You told me that Daddys love it when their little girls do what they’re told. But that’s not true at all. Daddys only like to fuck sluts. No one wants to love a slut. 

I loved the easy way, and that made me love Daddy too, which hurt me because Daddy didn’t want to make me feel loved back. 

I just wanted you to tell me that this day would never come Daddy. I just wanted you to hold me and tell me that everything will be okay because you would always be there to protect me.

But you hurt me, Daddy.

You are gone and I’m alone.

And this feels way worse than any of the times I choose the hard way.  I’m scared now.

Now, I don’t know who will protect me. I don’t trust anyone. I want them all to go away. I want to go away. Fly far, far away from here.

Then maybe I can be different. Then maybe I can be a REAL good girl. Then maybe someone will love me.

But I don’t know how to be a REAL good girl.

All I know how to be is how Daddy trained me.

Why did you teach me to be the kind of girl that no one can love, Daddy?

I don’t know who to be when Daddy’s not training me.

Who is going to think for me now Daddy?

When I think for myself I find myself only thinking of you. I think “How can I be the kind of good girl that Daddy wants to love forever?”

I just want my Daddy back.

I promise I’ll be good. 

I promise I will always be happy and won’t ever cry.

I just want to do what Daddy says

I just want to make Daddy happy. 

I don’t want to think. I just want to obey.

I just want my Daddy to love me again. 

I’m sorry I’m such a brat, Daddy. The easy way was getting too hard for me. I couldn’t understand why you said you didn’t want me when I wanted you so much.  

You took me to that special place Daddy. 

You took me to that dark place where I can’t think anymore. The place where I am brainless.

The deeper I go, the more scared I get.

It’s the darkest and loneliest place in the world, Daddy. Didn’t you know that? Didn’t I tell you? 

That’s that place I go to escape. When they can’t stop picking at me and I have to just let them pick.

I felt safe there with you. 

The more Daddy hurt me, the more I needed Daddy’s love and commitment to feel safe.  

It’s hard to obey my Daddy when I’m scared that he doesn’t love me or want me. 

I love you, Daddy.

Can you choose the easy way for me too? Can you love me so much, like how I love you? 

Can you just hold me and never want to let go?

I don’t know what’s worse, Daddy…

The pain I felt bubbling up inside when you held me, knowing I wasn’t good enough. The pain, not knowing if I’d ever be good enough. The pain, hoping and praying that some day you would come to me and tell me that I was good enough. 

Or the pain of never being close to Daddy again. 

I need to go back to that place Daddy.  Our special place. Only you know how to take me there.